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Secret Frugalitarians

August 24th, 2011 at 05:24 pm

Many of my university friends are both spenders and pinched financially. They have great taste and no money, but have a hard time with anything that smacks of domestic economy measures. I can't find a financial soul mate anywhere there. Lovely women, lots of fun, plenty of smarts, but in denial mode or depressive mode about financial control.

Yet where I teach my evening class, the center coordinator has four kids, makes not very much, and made a comment in passing about not buying the 12 boxes of Kleenex her kids' schools wanted for their classroom until she had a coupon and they were on sale. I knew I'd found a closet frugalitarian! Last night I sent her a link to a local coupon match site, and she was pleased as could be, sending me a couple of new links too.

So--that's my question to all of you out there. Do your friends and colleagues share your taste for economizing like you? Do they make fun of you? Do they make fun of you but eagerly accept your half-off coupons when you have lunch together? Do you have a budget buddy besides all of us?

7 Responses to “Secret Frugalitarians”

  1. Nika Says:
    1314207242

    I don't know. People have different idea of economizing.
    For example I spend a lot on premium and organic food and one of my co-workers thinks it is crazy. She will will shop for cheap food only and not eat out.
    But... has like 300 monthly cable bill and a cell phone bill close to that amount, which I think is crazy. So to each their own.

  2. ceejay74 Says:
    1314215089

    I don't have any dedicated frugalists, but I have noticed that friends are proud of announcing on Facebook when they ditch cable, or get a good Groupon, that sort of thing. There's one girl who's really into couponing, but she's a friend of a friend and lives in West Virginia, so I don't actually hang out with her.

    When we first buckled down and started to get a handle on our finances, we had no extra money to spare, and we were open about it with our friends. I didn't think it needed to be any big secret, and it would have been hard to hide anyway. I don't know how most people think of us, but I hope it's made an impression how we really cut back to get rid of our Credit card debt and now have a much better lifestyle (while still being budget-minded).

    I did have my best friend and his partner--they came clean about going through a tough financial time about a year after we admitted our situation. For a while it seemed like they would follow a similar path to ours, but they couldn't stick to it--they blew through a huge tax return that was going to get them out of trouble, ended up losing their house, and though they seem a lot happier renting and doing jobs they like, I imagine they're still in debt up to their eyeballs and have virtually nothing saved for retirement. I think they're both in fields that could eventually pay a lot, so I'm just hoping they can play catchup eventually and save themselves from a poverty-stricken retirement.

  3. Ima saver Says:
    1314222049

    I don't have any frugal friends either. I am so glad that I found this place.

  4. NJDebbie Says:
    1314236303

    I try not to talk about my frugal ways, because people tend to misconstrued frugality with being stingy.

  5. littlegopher Says:
    1314281717

    My best friend is mine, though she is a newcomer (vs my lifelong membership - I was born and raised in a frugal family.) It's fun to have someone to talk to and compare notes with in contrast to the wealth (real or not) of the area we live.

    Before my friend came to the enlightened side, I had to look elsewhere. Besides my birth family, I subscribed to The Tightwad Gazette, read tons of books from the library, and then once the internet came into being, found many like-minded souls with the very best right here at this site Smile Otherwise, I tend to tread lightly, as either people get it or don't. I consider those that do part of my larger frugal network (ie, the custodians at the school I work at - they are my best resources for anything frugal!)

  6. My English Castle Says:
    1314282610

    I agree it's sometimes hard talking about it, even in passing. You want to avoid seeming self-righteous, and it can turn into sort of thrift evangelism at its most annoying sometimes. I reminded of something that happened last weekend when I was helping a friend's husband clean up after their daughter's birthday party. I divided up lots of the leftover food into freezer bags when her husband asked what I was doing. I told him I thought they'd want to freeze a bunch of it when he looked at me with delight. They'd recently been to a party where they watched the host dump perfectly good food into the garbage at the end of the evening, and his very frugal German self recoiled from the waste. He was worried all Americans were wasteful like that, and was happy to have reassurance we're not. This led to a happy discussion about loaning each other books, sharing garden produce, and where to find great rummage sale clothes for their daughter. We're bonded!

  7. baselle Says:
    1314303905

    I really don't have a lot of very frugal friends, but many are somehwhat frugal and definitely no one sneers at me. When I first started picking up change from the sidewalk I got a couple of sniffs from strangers on the street who caught me, but now the comments range from "means you are humble" or "that's lucky!" or "good eyes".

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