Home > A Bit Outraged

A Bit Outraged

September 12th, 2010 at 11:31 pm

Despite an otherwise pleasant weekend, I'm more than a little unhappy with our babysitter. She's in her late twenties and very smart, but has problems holding down jobs, mostly, I think, because she's so bossy.

I normally don't mind her bossiness, though we did have words several years ago when she decided to tell me how she didn't approve of how I loaded my dishwasher. Since then, well, she has her moods, but everything was fine until last night.

DH and I went out for my birthday, then to a club to hear some jazz. This is high living for us. Our usual Saturday night is something off the grill and a library rental DVD.

When we got home, the sitter announced that she'd decided to "clean out" the freezer. We'd bought some rotisserie chicken and veggies for her and DD for dinner, as well as cake. But she was looking for a popsicle in the freezer and decided that some of the things in there should be thrown away.

I always freeze chicken scraps, bones, vegetable parings etc for homemade soup stock. She emptied all those bags and threw that away. The frozen bananas for banana bread--also gone. That made me pretty mad, but today, I realized she'd also moved five or six packages of meat from the freezer to the fridge, and now it was all thawed and needed to be cooked immediately. So much for my peaceful Sunday. I've been braising beef, frying sausages, and making stock. If she appeared on my doorstep right now, I'm afraid I might stick her head in the stock. Has anyone run into this odd control freak behavior from a sitter before?

She's great with DD, but man alive, I've had it with her right now.

17 Responses to “A Bit Outraged”

  1. Joan.of.the.Arch Says:

    No, I've never run into any such thing.

    Is your babysitter your parent or your partner's parent--someone who thinks they are the wise adult and you the foolish child? If so, they need some adjustment and to be told to butt out. If this babysitter is not even a family member, I think they have a screw loose. It sounds bad enough that I would worry about leaving a child with them. You've used their sitting services for years?

  2. My English Castle Says:

    yes, Joan. As I said, she's bossy and thinks she knows everything better than anyone. But she's very capable, and does lots of long-term babysitting, especially for parents with special needs kids. But man, she was so out of line here.

  3. ceejay74 Says:

    It sounds really out of line, I agree!

    If you don't think her behavior would ever affect your kids, and you want to keep her on, I'd just sit her down and explain that you don't ever want her to do anything like that again. Tell her about the wasted food, your intentions for the broth and bananas; everything. If she doesn't agree not to meddle again, then I guess you have a bigger problem. But I wouldn't just let something like this go, because it could escalate into even weirder, more entitled actions.

    Good luck!

  4. MonkeyMama Says:

    "But I wouldn't just let something like this go, because it could escalate into even weirder, more entitled actions."


    Good luck, indeed.

  5. NJDebbie Says:

    I'm speechless! (My jaw dropped as I read your post)

  6. mrpaseo Says:

    Two words... Restraining Order!

  7. creditcardfree Says:

    Obviously, I don't know her, but that is completely disrespectful in my book and would not be tolerated in my home. Mental illness...her, not you.

  8. baselle Says:

    That would be my final straw. Whose house or "babysitting workplace" is it anyway?

    Have we asked the obvious question? Knowing better than anyone but in her late twenties and "just" a babysitting gig? Is she good with DD or is DD terrified of her?

  9. sharmanl Says:

    She needs to go NOW!

    She sure has alot of nerve. Who does she think she is and what gives her the right? Um...I guess you've allowed her too much empowerment in the past, I'm thinking.

  10. My English Castle Says:

    No, we set the rules generally. But she is an adult enrolled in a master's degree program in early-childhood education. She's a great resource on all things kid-related. She knows about all library events, sends us announcements of stuff on children's programs at the symphony. DD likes her a lot. She's not super-strict, but strict enough to suit us with her. She IS very opinionated though--and probably frustrated to be "just" babysitting. Lots of the people she sits for have her do a lot for them. She prints out sheets on types of car seats recommended by Consumer Reports when I mention we're thinking of replacing ours. I think she needs to be a personal assistant to someone--just not us!

  11. pretty cheap jewelry Says:

    how old is your kid? um, I think the sitter is not a good influence, sorry!

    very strange and don't forget you are paying her.

  12. crazyliblady Says:

    I would probably be more than a bit outraged. It does sound like she needs to work for someone else, like as a secretary or something. I would be prepared to at least have a discussion with her and lay down some very clear ground rules. On the off chance that it does not work out with her at all, would it be a good idea to have a backup plan in an alternative babysitter in mind?

  13. FrugalTexan75 Says:

    Wow! That is pretty outrageous. I don't know that I'd give her another chance. But I did, we'd have to have a serious meeting of the minds.

  14. baselle Says:

    Let me soften my position a bit, and go with ceejay's point. Really set her down and discuss what she did. You have every right to your anger. Freezer today, medicine cabinet tomorrow.

    Part of being an administrative assistant or expert or an advice guru in any field (children, lifestyle, financial, etc) is knowing how to be a reasonable employee - how tread the line between giving advice, giving orders, and doing something rash. Something akin to what she did would easily get her in hot water even in the first rungs of the corporate ladder.

    Also remind her that if this situation is not resolved, you probably would mention it in if she asked you for a reference.

  15. My English Castle Says:

    Thank you all for sharing my outrage! We probably won't see her again for a bit, but I think I'm going to address the situation first in an e-mail to her, then next time we see her.
    Baselle and everyone else who made this point is correct. She left grad school before under a cloud because of her confrontation with an instructor. We've always speculated that she should be a hard-hitting attorney, but I need some time and space from her before I can see her again.

  16. PatientSaver Says:

    I think you need to speak to her directly and frankly, explaining that if she wants to clean out the freezer, she should do it at home; that this is not her home and she shouldn't do things like that without advance permission.

    Perhaps her parents let her get away with stuff like that; she needs to learn there are boundaries, and repercussions to her actions.

    A teenager should know better than to let several pounds of meet dethaw in the fridge. I'm not sure if it's a control issue as much as it is not giving a s*** if she feels an impulse to do something.

  17. SnoopyCool Says:

    Send her a bill for the food she threw out and see how she reacts.

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