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Happy Decluttering but Unhappy Husband

July 17th, 2013 at 05:34 am

I had a fabulous time today doing the dread basement cleaning. I have no idea why I enjoyed it so much, but I suspect it had something to do with the weather. Cleaning a cool basement in 100 degree weather is nice. Or maybe it's just me taking a stand.

Some of the back story on the basement: We redid it a few years ago from a very 1960 rec room to a nice white space with a little built-in bar/sink, a huge wall of closets for out-of-season clothes and a big space for DH's books and papers. Short version: His paper hoarding and book collection was way out of control. Any flat surface is immediately covered with his junk. I fight back upstairs, but I'd really let the basement go.

But my dear daughter really wanted a space long promised to her, and I have to say, I just got sick of his mess. I knew he'd have the hoarding anxiety attack when I told him I was doing it. He had LOTS of warning, and I promised to straighten and rearrange, but not throw any of his "stuff" away.

But frankly, it's my house too, and I'm done with it. I swear he was on the verge of going through the recycling bags to check every bit of three-year coupons for traces of treasure. He started to argue with me about getting rid of the remotes for the TVs we recycled. But tomorrow they're going to Best Buy where the TVs went to die.

I'm not having it; the clutter is stagnating and depressing, and if he needs therapy to deal with it, well, the insurance will cover it. Any one else remember the "Twilight Zone" episode where the murder rate spiked in the 100 degree heat?

Posted in Castles and Hovels | 10 Comments »

10 Responses to “Happy Decluttering but Unhappy Husband”

  1. ceejay74 Says:
    July 17th, 2013 at 05:47 am 1374036435
    1374036435

    Good for you! Best to cause the small shock now rather than a major breakdown later when things had really gotten out of control -- and better than just giving up. I watched my dad fight a losing battle with my mom's hoarding his whole married life, and now he just tries to keep the middles of regularly used rooms basically clear. And now they have a major roach problem.

  2. creditcardfree Says:
    July 17th, 2013 at 02:08 pm 1374066539
    1374066539

    Glad it went well for you, but there is a little concern for your DH...I actually think some therapy would help NOW before he has a real breakdown.

  3. ThriftoRama Says:
    July 17th, 2013 at 02:49 pm 1374068996
    1374068996

    Geesh. It is really hard to deal with folks who are that attached to things. My FIL is like that. He still has computer punch cards from some job he had in the 1980s. He refuses to throw them away. He is hyper organized, so there is a place for everything, but I am not looking forward to us having to deal with all of this sort of "stuff" when he is older.

  4. My English Castle Says:
    July 17th, 2013 at 02:54 pm 1374069246
    1374069246

    Yeah, CCF, he knows he has a problem. Everyone gives him grief about it. His brother's first question to him when we see them is "How's your junk?" As I said, I've managed to keep most of it under control, but it's part of an anxiety disorder, I know. He just won't deal with it.

  5. pretty cheap jewelry Says:
    July 17th, 2013 at 03:22 pm 1374070953
    1374070953

    hee hee, I used those computer punch cards in college. YUCK!!!
    I fight my husband-the-night-college-geography-professor's tendency to collect historic maps! and scientific instruments. It's pretty well managed, but I confess I have a stack of dried grape vines (1 to 6 feet long) saved for the future jewelry display some time Smile

  6. baselle Says:
    July 17th, 2013 at 06:49 pm 1374083347
    1374083347

    It could be worse - I read about the murdered wife cold case in the NYT. Found the wife's bones behind a basement wall in front of hoarder's delight.

    Text is http://www.nytimes.com/2013/07/16/nyregion/amid-junk-at-hoarders-house-his-missing-wife.html?pagewanted=all&_r=0 and Link is
    http://www.nytimes.com/2013/07/16/nyregion/amid-junk-at-hoar...
    Keep blogging MEC. Smile

  7. My English Castle Says:
    July 17th, 2013 at 07:28 pm 1374085721
    1374085721

    LOL at Baselle's story. No sign of frozen cats, murdered squirrels, or my imminent murder yet. I devised a wonderful distraction this morning that may save my hide. After next year's London Study Abroad trip, we spend 10 days near his home in southern England. I almost think he's over the aquarium, converter boxes, and remotes now. So--to get rid of a basement full of junk may cost me $1000, but that's what Swagbucks are for, I guess. But do keep checking on me!

  8. creditcardfree Says:
    July 17th, 2013 at 08:42 pm 1374090128
    1374090128

    If it takes a trip and some money to make it more comfortable for him than GO FOR IT!! If I lived close to you, I'd come help. Smile

  9. snafu Says:
    July 18th, 2013 at 12:43 am 1374104633
    1374104633

    DH finds our 'new item in - old item out' general rule very helpful to control his hoarding tendencies. Books are a major problem even with the help of the electronic reader and iPad. Help #2 is finding someone to give stuff that will use and appreciate. Help #3 How old is it? Anything 5 y/o is out-of-date, painful but he's mostly keeping his word.

  10. scfr Says:
    July 18th, 2013 at 12:58 am 1374105515
    1374105515

    Good luck - Keep it up and keep the sense of humor!

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